Ive got a pocket full of sunshine

Okay so today after a month of waiting I have two interviews, yay me. Im a happy gal today. Just wanted to share.

Como una Gitana

Mi destino es andar
Mis recuerdos
Son una estela en el mar
Y va liviano
Mi corazón gitano
Que solo entiende de latir
A contramano
No intentes amarrarme
Ni dominarme
Yo soy quien elige
Como equivocarme

Lyrics from Shakira's song Gitana. 

      After reading all my posts I realized that my destiny is to walk, to travel, to never stop. This could be a curse and it could also be a blessing. Since a little girl it was a dream of mine to just never be part of one place. I used to say, which is amazing for me, that I wanted to have been born in the sea that way I would belong nowhere, I was from everywhere, I would be citizen of the world. And I was only a child when I said that. So now looking back its obvious that that's what is in my future to be part of everything. I still don't know how this will be but its already starting, or started. And I will fight it no longer. This has been part of me and I have held back. 

      And I listen to this song and it just keeps playing in my head. Its true. I will go places, I will meet people, photograph, live, learn, breath, cry, laugh. It will be part of my life. And that will be my adventure. My life is an adventure. No plans, just rough drafts. Where ever life takes me I will go.

Maybe this is what emos feel...

Does anybody ever feel like, stabbing your arm multiple times, or maybe chewing on your finger until your left with only the bone, or maybe you have considered driving forward without stopping that way you will just crash and die, maybe your less dramatic and just want to stop blinking for a while until your eye sockets dry up like prunes. Yes, we have all been there, those certain moments where life makes no sense.  Where you find your self living in autopilot with nowhere to go specifically. We have all made plans for our future and seen life run over them and do as it pleases with your pathetic so called life. And yes, we have also had those moments when we feel enlighten where everything is peachy, Rosie, and beautiful. Well right now, I envy you. For me you hold the world in your fingertips you are one with the spirit of life. Because right now in these precise moments for me, life is non existent. We all make bad choices and these choices lead to consequences. And these in return leave us with plenty of sentiment of embarrassment, neglect, sadness and pure melting of our higher capacities. Because after we realize the stupid choices we have made we also realize we can do absolutely nothing, zero, zip, nada, to just erase it and start over. Instead we have to learn to give up the fight for only a second and just let the winds of our future lead us to the unknown. But in the meantime you just sit on your ass on a couch just killing yourself in your imagination too just ease the pain. And of course we just have to breath, hold our breath and think of what plans we will do next.