Should I share the pizza?

Okay. So I have this big pizza. With slices, right. And I want to share this pizza with other people. But, some slices have been taken already. I could say that I gave most of the slices to one person, thinking that some of his slices would be given too me. After seeing that he was not gonna share some pizza with me and that I was giving away all my slices to this person, the party was over. So I had a few slices left, and invited someone else, so whatever was left of this pizza was given to him, and he ate, and ate, and ate and when he was full he left the party. So there are still a few pieces left, but there enough for me to eat and share with my family, and I don't have enough for any other party goers, but I want to share, but that would mean I would be left to starve because everyone else is eating the few slices that are left. But, wait, I met someone who gave me a few slices, and I took them, and added them to my box of pizza, but these are not mine, but at least gave me a little more for me too survive. I was very thankful. But now that there is someone else who wants to be invited to the party has nothing to eat, and I wish and am trying to share pizza with this person but I don't have much left and I'm afraid that if I give him the slices that are left I wont get any back. I'm afraid of giving away whatever is left. I don't want to loose them. But I don't want to loose him. I mean I love this pizza party with him.


YES ITS A METAPHOR 

So annoying but lovable

I'm writing from a different computer. Watching a game, nop, not a sports game, just watching a friend playing Uncharted 2. This game looks pretty awesome. I'm on a couch, comfy as ever with the sweetest person in this world, him and his Cuvanera, what a guy huh? I thought I had to go to work but apparently that was not the case. How I love too be pumped up to work at my favorite fast food restaurant and then be disappointed. You know, working at a fast food is the most rewarding experience ever. I'm joking. But all my friends are working there including my sister. Its amazing. I wanted adventure so here we are. I'm gonna start calling this generation "the boxed generation". So lets analyze this, we eat everything out of boxes, everything is premade and precooked. Nothing is how it used to be. And we are also living boxed lives. Where we only do what we have to and not what we want too. And most of us know this, but cant do anything about it. They say life is a choice but sometimes the choice is made for us. But anyway why am I talking about this. The thing is that today I'm a happy gal, and am willing to enjoy the finer and simpler things in life while I look for those hard to reach pleasures that await me.

Thanksgiving

What I'm thankful for:

All the hard times. My bachelors. My friends. My family. My brain. My camera. My blog. My life. Nature. My dogs. etc etc

Today, or maybe yesterday. Whatever sounds best. Was a wonderful day. Full of surprises. I made a decision that was very random but very wanted. I think I should give myself a chance once more. I got to see my family and spend time with them. I learned that things are not always what we want but there are a lot of things we let pass by because we are so focused on other trivial things. Love is in the air. And not only love of a man, but love of friends and family. Cant wait to see what Christmas has in store for me!

EXACTLY

Christina Perri
ARMS

I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart
But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start

You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go
You put your arms around me and I'm home

How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around
I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved
I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone

You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth
And I've never opened up
I've never truly loved 'Till you put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go


I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

You put your arms around me and I'm home

My bad decisions

Why is it that when I want to put my foot down, say no to something, the majority of the time I do the exact opposite. Its incredible, that mistake that could sound or seem stupid is pretty damn important. Because it changes everything. All changes after that act. And timing is everything. I don't want to say that because of this the whole thing is ruined but, its pretty obvious it is. And again, I can not expect nothing from the other person, when it was me, and only me who broke my own promise. I set out to do something in a certain way and then messed it all up. The whole relationship will change, and perception of me too. And how do I stop the other person, how do I try to remedy the situation. If there is any remedy at all. Now I feel used and stupid. I could say that well, it was a fun time and that's it. A guilty pleasure. Like any other young person out there. But the whole thing is so different from what I wanted it too be. Or maybe I'm looking for it with the wrong person. But as I'm always saying communication is everything. The only way to salvage whatever is left is to let the other person know. No matter how trivial it might be for them. For me its important. And knowing what they want will help me in knowing what I should do.

Deception

     Deception. Feeling let down. These are feelings that are created by our own expectations. We create these expectations, things we want and hope other people will do or believe because we want them too. Now, this is not always because your selfish, it might be because you truly want something good to come out of that relationship. And let us think of relations of all types, marriages, boyfriend/girlfriend, best friend, customer, etc. Remember, our world is based on relations with all living and nonliving things.
     But as I was saying before. We have to learn not to expect anything from no one. This is hard, and is not an easy task. But if we could learn not to expect things that might never happen we would not go through a lot of heartache. And, how can we do this? Well, first we have too work on our communication on these relationships. To have good communication we must first be sincere with yourself and others. So we have to let the other person know how we feel and what we would like in that relationship. If we see that that is not possible, it is then that we decide to continue or not. Of course, keep in mind if you do, do not expect things that are not going to happen.
     So lets review this. Deception comes from expectations. Expectations can be avoided by having good communication skills, this is achieved with sincerity and clarity.

Like monkeys

SEX.

Is that what love is really about? There is no love in sex. Two separate things. I mean you could have sex and fall in love, but love is not necessary to have sex. And how do you know if its love or not? And do you even want it to be love? Before anything, we should ask our self's this. This whole thing is such a difficult thing. I mean, are you supposed to feel electricity with that person? Are you gonna want more. That does not mean anything. After a few years practicing this delightful exercise, how do you know when its the real thing?

Is it love?

    Three friends. One is heartbroken. The other is afraid to love again. And another has no idea what and why she does the things she does. Lets call the first one A. So A loves a man, breaks up with him cause there is no trust. Is she wrong? The other is B. She has gone through a lot, and being heartbroken again is not in her plans. But how long should you go holding a grudge. And C is crazy. She is split between two. One who is perfect for her and one who is just a mystery. We all know what  that means right? So A, B, C are in a little bit of a pickle and they talk about this everyday, night, evening, when they go out, when they stay home. All the time.
     And this is where the problem is. We are so preoccupied in trying to understand and find love that we are missing on more important and beautiful things in life. Our days pass by us because we are focused on another soul, as if this one was going to give them a new one. There are so many things to live for. Friends, family, your goals, dreams etc. So many days where you could just enjoy the company of so many people and your only concentrated on one. And then comes the question. Is "love" really so important in the humans life. Is it really a stone that gets in the way of other things. Do we really do everything for this? Is it really why we live?

Want to sleep better, write, or be inspired...?

Music calms my thoughts, they turn in to an endless chain, lost in the valleys of dreams, words sleep , while images pop into the sky like balloons. The sounds sooth my worry's and compliment my imaginary. The pen of my voice turns into trees and vines that surround the corridors of my mind. And while the breeze of the calm shuts my eyes I loose myself in the beauty of you. Of me. Of the land of dreams.

(This album is very good, found it in Pandora)

MY GOD IS A WOMAN

     I was thinking again about god. Having a friend who atheist, and who constantly lets us know on Facebook, it got me thinking. Of course everybody has there moments of dispare, that's usually when they start doubting about god. Or you go to collage and start reading and learning and finding things that totally contradict the believes you where raised with. I was raised a catholic. And of course I was active in that community. When I went to collage I was almost an atheist. I don't know if I am. But, ever since I started reading and listening to older folks I have had a theory. I believe in a cycle.
     I think god is our mother, she is our creator. But, not a woman with a long dress sitting in the clouds watching us in our sadness, happiness etc. She is all around us, she is mother nature. She is everywhere we walk, breath, live and die. But, the world, the globe, earth was not created for us. I don't believe we were creatures created by her, and as a gift she gave us earth so we could play, destroy and live off it. We are not that important, we are no more important than the other creatures that surround us. We are part of her, of this god, of mother nature. We are not for her, we are her, and animals and plants are her, there for there us. We are the world, we are nature. We are not better than animals or plants we are part of them and them of us. We are recycled. We live, die and live again in the air ground, fruits. We are part of a cycle. Everything in this world is recycled, everything in nature is used and reused.
     Of course this is the part that we are not getting. For me this is true. And we are gravely affecting this cycle with our ignorance. We are so focused in looking for other explanations that lead us to nothing. When all around us is our answer. We blaim politics, government, science, religion but we don't look at how we are affecting our mother. And the sick thing is that we don't care. We don't realize that we are not the last animals, plants, and not too mention our children will suffer from all this.